Wednesday, June 28, 2006

12:07PM

dear live journal,

great news... ever since summer started ive cleared my head and figured out some stuff.
dance is basically done in my life.. not cuz im bad at it just because i simply grew up and grew out of it. i now have time to do all the other things ive wanted to try. so im all good.

I am currently in aladdin for those of you who care. i am the sultan... jasmines father. i am looking forward to all the friendships and fun along the way. so if you dont mind im gonna go clean.

Current mood: content

Friday, April 14, 2006

3:38PM

I know a lot of people have stopped the whole livejournal myspace But i could really care less. So this year has been a real piece ofshit. not because i am a spoiled actor/ dancer that gets everything and everything. But because all of the shit i've ever done that is stupid came to kick my fat ass.

such as in sixth grade and my infamous dancing career. Boy that is fucked up.
or in seventh grade when i dated like 19 girls and now have no one to date just because ive already dated ever girl that i know and those i havent just think im fat by the way.
or in eigth grade when i thought i wasnt going to care about any one elses opinion on my dance.


Boy was i wrong.

This year the sophmore ass holes made it a habbit and a entertaining thing to do to take a fat dancer with already low self esteem and um cot him daow to a level that made him just want to drop out of school altogether. Or the fact that all my freinds found their place except me. Or the fact theat i cant even put on a shirt right so every fucking jock fucking talks about me. Now if you are getting annoyed you might just want to go because i am just getting started.

Now in the beggining of the year i thought i was doing an okay job.....HELL NO

failing all classes and being made fun of on a daily no wait an hourly basis is not doing okay. my life as iknw it was no longer.

and with these new feelings of depression came on. also came on the intimidation that always does with a fat boy wh dances and has no freinds. Eric Johnson...great kid.... was now dancing where i was. And hes flawless what can i say. So i was nothing compared to this. then nathan was better than me... wait lets face it Kylend who is like 6 is better than me. hes got a fucking agent. so here i am 15 years old and in highschool not moved up the class from teen to senior at dance although everyone else was including the tweve year olds that the twins favor. so what do i do. absolutely nothing.....what is there to do. I have to play by their rules... think of it as a country club. You dont sit (dance) with the richest and the best you stay away and dont touch talk or interact with them at all. So thats just what i did.

So spring musical is here and i got a lead so other than fucking up everyones schedule i quit dance. now that everythings done and said i regret it. WHy....

why would i regret something that got me years of ridicule and stupid child judgement. why would i put myself through this screaming rollercoaster again.

Bu then again why cant i put the fork down or admit that i dont know anything about myself i havent taken the time to know anthing besides my pant size. All these things go through my head and i cant figure them out. i dont think and i ruin freindships i lay n bed not knowing if i want to wake up my days are like minutes there not any time to do shit. I want to be three so i can cry and cry and cry

I want to not have so many medical problems. it is doctor after doctor i want to fucking be normal i want to play base ball and rie my bike with real freinds not the people who call me their freinds then say i m going away for summer so they can get out of hanging around with me. I want real rrelationships with real people and i shouldnt even be sitting on this computer when therte is so little time of mylife left and so much of it wasted i want out.

Current mood: what is it that makes me lazy

Current music: fgrew

Saturday, November 12, 2005

6:22PM

so im up north and i was just checking my myspace and i decided to check out my lj so ......... Im up north right now and thinking about my life and the roads im taking and ive come up with the solution im overworked and way overtired. I have lately been trying to steal diet pills and am thinking a lot about death and what happens after ward. I kind of feel that as a human being my life is really insignificant. ur freinds turn on u and family doesnt support u and u feel so small and unimportant.


Well on a happy note i luv u all and hope the rest of your weekend is good.

Current mood: good

Current music: Dont phunk with my heart

Sunday, November 6, 2005

10:43PM

Hey im sitting at home wit nuttin to do and im really beored. so i am not ready for another monday.
so tell me what u were for halloween and what you did this weekend?

Current mood: calm

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

8:58PM

Hey
im at play practice right now but i am modifying my live journal. So yall should tell me how you like it because im not sure right now. so you should come see the fall play at garber this weekend at 7 thirty pm its 10 bucks hope u can come

Current mood: im sleepy

Current music: Hey Jude

Friday, October 28, 2005

5:24PM

Yo

i am having a holloween partay with some flute playas tonite and i be pumped. OOOh my god the GARBER GAME BE TONITE
and we gonna win


kno what im sayin fool


so this week went by f@#$in fast dude it feels like teusday and its frdaaayyy. S ho yall doin i gots ta gooo BYE

Current mood: POOP

Current music: California dreamin

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

12:48PM

yo,
im in study hall again. Im having a pretty good day today and i hope it stays the same.
I had to take this horrible math test though and i hope i didnt fail cuz if i did ill get so mad at myself. lately i feel as if im failing at everything though, like at dance i think im getting worse off than before. I mean i even used to be an A student and now i work hard to get cs and bs. I used to date a differet girlevery month like a madman and now I cant find anybody to call mine and to hold while other people are walking hand in hand and holding eachother. I feel as if I have no one sometimes and that everyone is out to get me. then i realize the couple of freinds i do have that love me the way they do and i remember that I have a reason to keep going on. But then there are those times I look at the stars and feel so insignificant and tiny and like i dont matter. im like a speck of dust to the world. And i realize how good i actually have it and forget about my deep thoughts and become shallow once again.




Wow i typed a lot

usually I dont have time to pour my feelings into a diary for all to read so its all kinda new to me.
So i guess for now ill just keep feeling th way i am and try to get over myself. I mean Im not all that there are certainly better singers better actors and better dancers. but in the end i and many others will realize we only get once to do it all then our time i up. So do it while you can.


And i think from now on i not going to let anyone tell me i cant do something for a dumb reason like your dumb or fat. Ill live how i want to god dammit.


thanks for utting up with my thoughts now i will leave you.




With sincere regret of life


Dylan R.

Current mood: I dont have a particualar one

Current music: My humps

Sunday, October 23, 2005

8:47PM

hey yall its me



so me n nathan just parted and im bored. i gotta do my homework-----------biology------------it sucks. so today i got my internet and i been on all day. im so bored. tommorrow i start play practice and i am not looking forward to it. im only in one scene in the whole thing and i have to be there the whole time. so if any one knows anything and wants to talk my aim screen name is danceragedyll12 so ill be on between 3:45 an 5:30 so talky talky.



talk later'
dylan

Current mood: i feel dumb

Current music: this little light of mine

2:04AM

Yo
Im here with nathan and my fucking computer still isnt working. this is my fourth entry since may and they are all from different computers. well this weekend kinda sucked but i was invited to a party with some juniors so its not all that bad. I am feeling a little better than my last entry but life still sucks at garber. TTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOO MMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
theyre killing us with the shit I had two book reports in one week. and a math test and meap testing. it fuckin sucks. so thats all and leave a comment i am so bored its like i have no friends you fuckers. Just KIddddddin. Oh and if ro ro is readin y'all just hate me cuz im black.



love,
D-dizzle fo shizzle from the east side.

Current mood: yall want me dont you

Current music: you can be my bitch by master b

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

1:23PM - wow that sucks

Hey this is dylan im just sitting in study hall again with shit for homework. today so far has sucked so bad. First I had meap which i slept throgh and dont remember what I wrote fo half the answers. then I skipped math because after the meap there was only 10 minutes of math and i didnt do my homework. so me n becca wright walked around until our freshman meeting which also sucked. we did get an extended lunch which i bitched through because freshmen flutists need to burn in hell and yes that means savannah diebol.by the way I never did anything wrong to anybody that i know or care about so whats with the stupid comments. jus stop it. so if your on here leave me a comment cuz im feeling kinda friendless right now. id appreciate it.




dylan ratell

Current mood: fuck off bitch

Current music: somebody kill me please

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

4:47PM

hi im excited cuz my shows on at 8..............so you think you can dance:):):):):):)


if anyone needs it i will be taping so just call me....i gots a ne cell and my #is 326-0248


school starts in like 14 hours im gonna be a highschooler yay!!
--

i love you all especially you miss lores people ill see yall on sept.12 okay and dont hesitate to call and talk. and if kelly, marissa, stephanie, or any other college student is readin this i love you and hope your lives turn out to be wonderful. Please dont forget me. an d call me lots.


see ya
love dylan ( mr schneebly ):)

Current mood: im a highschooler

Current music: babylon

Wednesday, June 1, 2005

9:35PM - my exciting day

Today I was woken up by carleigh to go watch her photo shoot at bamberger. after that her mom took us to Cast Aways for lunch.... It was scrumdidlyumptious then we went to her house. We danced and did other crap for a couple of hours then Nathan took us to dress rehearsal for dance. and now i am in my computer room with carcar and we are typing this right now okay good for you bye bye.


.....really i mean go like now.......bye .......leave!!!!!!!!!
love,
Dylan Ratell

Current mood: so you think you can dance

Current music: babylon

DDIZZLEFOSHIZZLE (Latest 15 entries) (Calendar) (Friends) (Myspace) (User info) Thursday, October 26, 2006 4:01PM hey so for all of you who read this (the few of you who do) i just want you to know i think we all need lives Current mood: crazy

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